


This is the Sound of Your Heart, It Sounds Lonely

by moldypeaches



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, If any of you reads this as incest I’ll maul you, No Incest, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 00:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18767587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moldypeaches/pseuds/moldypeaches
Summary: “Diego’s got a shit-eating smirk when Five grumbles more, if that was even possible, but as soon as his eyes landed on Klaus his brow furrows.God, he must look like such shit if he can turn an expression that quick.”





	This is the Sound of Your Heart, It Sounds Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I’m really not much of a writer so who knows how good this actually is, I just got the idea in my head and ran with it. Not Beta read or anything, so feel free to call me out on any weird grammar or something. 
> 
> Also... uuh timeline wise: who knows. Let’s just say it’s after the apocalypse, they’re all adults (except for 5), it’s all good. And I didn’t include ghosts following Klaus around even though he’s sober and that just comes from a place of laziness so yknow. 
> 
> Anyway, hope ya like it!

When Klaus woke up, all he could feel was the pounding from inside of his head.

So it's one of those days, huh? Fantastic.

He tries to close his eyes again, maybe catch another hour, but the headache just won’t let him, and he slowly sits up in bed to look at the clock next to him.

4:30 am.

Great! Amazing! Absolutely fucking spectacular!

Klaus covers his face with a groan as he hears Ben snicker from across the room.

“Oh shut up you,” Klaus scowls and puts his hand to chest dramatically. “It’s already not my day today and I don’t need some ghoul laughing at my pain.”

Ben scoffs and shoots him a small smile. “Hey man, I’m just happy you’re actually awake before two in the afternoon.” He jumps off the shelves he had sat himself on for the night and stands next to the bed. “C’mon, I think you could use some coffee or something.”

Klaus sighs and looks out the window to see the heavy rain pouring down from the sky. “Even the weather matches my mood,” Klaus says with a lilt in his voice, scrutinizing two raindrops racing each other down the window glass. “Ooh maybe I have some secret second power with the weather! This being sober thing is opening up so many possibilities!” He grins up at Ben.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that,” The ghost crosses his arms. “Seriously, let’s at least go downstairs, it gets boring when you just hangout in your room all day.”

Klaus gives a pout and props his head onto his hand. “I have a headache.” His voice quiet.

Ben’s eyes soften. “Well, then we’ll get you some coffee, maybe even some waffles if we have any.”

Klaus sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “Okay, okay, I’ll get up.” He sits himself at the edge of his bed, slowly leaning down to pick up some sweater he stole from Allison off the floor. “But only ‘cause I’m sooo nice and I have to remind you every so often.”

Ben rolls his eyes with a smirk on his face, mumbling “Yeah, yeah.” As he heads toward the door.

Klaus is slow to follow, pulling the thick wool sweater around him, not bothering to button it but instead crossing his arms to keep the heat in. It’s a nice sweater, a blueish gray with a soft texture, just what he needed to stave off the chill of the room.

He also realizes he’s not wearing any pants and thinks that's probably another reason he’s cold.

Klaus grabs whatever’s on the floor–a pair of black sweatpants–and shrugs. It’s a headache day, and he’s not in the mood to search for anything more fashionable. But he spots his military vest laying on his bed and lies it over his shoulder, just because he wants it with him.

He hobbles himself over to the door before Ben waits too long, and trudges down the hall, hearing the window frames jitter with the force of the wind and rain. It really is stormy today; He feels jumpy hearing the thunder in the distance.

Somehow Klaus ends up in the kitchen without stopping to just lay on the floor and sees Ben attempting to open the cupboards with little success.

“Need some help there, Casper?” Klaus says, pulling out a chair and plopping himself down.

“Just testing things out is all.” Ben mumbles back, not really paying attention to him.

Klaus sighs and closes his eyes, leaning his head onto the back of the chair. He felt for his pants pockets and finds a couple of cigarettes crumpled up at the bottom.

“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Klaus mumbles to himself, pulling out his lighter.

He can practically feel Ben’s eyes on him.

Klaus looks up with a cigarette hanging from his mouth and a lighter in his hand. “What? Just plain ole’ nicotine and tobacco!” He lights it and shrugs, “This is an improvement if anything.” He adds waving his hands about.

Ben sighs and his shoulders slump. “I guess… try to wean off of those too though yeah?” His voice has no fight in it, and Klaus feels bad.

“Of course man, of course.” Klaus really is trying to be better, he’s made it to almost a month without getting high or drunk off his ass, so he thinks he has the right to be just a little proud of himself. “I’ve got it under control.” He adds, bringing his knees up into a folded position on the chair.

Ben nods and awards Klaus a weak smile. “Yeah, yeah I know, you’ve been doing pretty well so far.”

Klaus smirks, takes another long drag and lets it go out his nose, “Well what can I say,” He was going say something after, but nothing comes to mind, so he finishes with a big shrug.

Ben scoffs but Klaus hears the laugh behind it.

“So where are we on our waffle inven–“

He’s interrupted by a roar of thunder, far too close for this liking, and his mind becomes blank as he shoves the chair back and huddles under the table, holding his head down between his knees, covering himself.

“Klaus?” Ben calls, startled, but Klaus doesn’t hear him.

_There are guns firing over his head, and he hears the booming explosions of grenades. There are men everywhere around him screaming, he can’t focus, why can’t he focus?!_

_All he sees is fire. He hears the machine guns firing off behind him. Men are falling to the ground. Where’s Dave?_

_He’s desperate, he doesn't know where Dave is, he can’t breathe. Why can’t he breathe? Where’s Dave? He needs to find Dave!_

_He hurriedly crawls straight ahead, mud mixed with blood covering him even more than it was before. He struggles for breath. He just needs to find Dave. He needs to make sure Dave is alive._

_Before he can finish any more thoughts, he spots him. He’s face down in the mud, hands still on his gun. Klaus, practically sliding through the mud, shakes as he reaches Dave._

_He turns him over and faces the image of the blank stare and hole through the chest that’s ingrained into his brain._

_“No. No no nonono,” His hands float everywhere, not knowing what to do, how to fix this. He holds David’s head, his arms, waves over his chest, he feels the tears rushing down his face. “Come on, sweetheart. You can do it, wake up for me.” He pleads._

_Klaus lets out a choked sob, “Medic!” He yells, his voice is so hoarse, “Somebody please, Medic! Someone help me!”_

_No one's coming._

–––––––––––––––––––

Number Five stumbles out of his room. He needs caffeine. Now.

He guesses that’s what two hours of sleep will do to you, but he doesn't need sleep, he needs coffee.

Rubbing the gunk out of his eyes, he stomps down the stairs, ignoring the pouring rain and thunder outside the windows.

What he expects to find in the kitchen at 4:50am is no one.

Instead, he’s greeted with Klaus huddled under the table looking like he’s expecting a bomb to be dropped on him.

He’s not making any noise, at least that Five can hear, but he can see the harsh tremor going through him, even from the entryway.

Five isn't exactly equipped to confront this right this moment, but he ends up standing next to the table, anyway.

He gives the table leg behind Klaus a small kick, trying to get his attention, trying to get him out of his curled up position.

If you were to ask Five later that day he would admit that was a bad idea on his part, but who could blame him, two hours of sleep and an underfed caffeine addiction will lead a man to make shitty decisions.

Klaus flinches so hard, Five would be surprised if he hadn’t smacked his head on the floor and hears a sob retch its way out of him.

“Oh shit,” he kneels down, keeping some distance between the two of them, “Hey Klaus, can you tell me where you are right now?”

Klaus’ knuckles are white with the grip he has around the back of his neck, his tremors are almost violent as he shakes his head and let’s out another sob.

“I’m coming closer, okay?” Five warns, “I’m going to put my hand on your back.” Klaus only responds with a gulp of air and a small choked noise.

Five gently rests his hand on his back and can feel the bones of his spine, even through the sweater. “I need you to stop holding your breath Klaus.” His hand moves in slow circles. “It’s 2019, you’re at the academy, it’s five in the morning, and you're safe.”

Klaus takes in a staggered breath, still hunched over, shoving his face into his knees. Five can hear him mumbling, and he sounds desperate.

“It’s storming outside, but you’re in the academy’s kitchen Klaus, you’re safe, it’s okay, just try to breathe.”

Five wouldn’t call himself good at comforting people, but he knows at least some things about talking someone down from a fucking panic attack so that's something he’s got going for him now.

“He’s not breathing, he’s not breathing,” Five catches some of Klaus’ mumbling, “He’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead.” Five is about to try to comfort him again, attempt to get his breathing a little more regulated, but before he says anything Klaus starts scratching at his hands. His nails are just a touch too sharp and are leaving angry red marks; looks like he’s trying to scrub them.

“I can’t get the blood off, someone help me, I can’t get it off,” Klaus cries. “He’s dead. He’s dead. I can’t wake him up.” Another gasp, and Klaus is full out sobbing.

“Woah, okay,” Five separates Klaus’ hands and holds them in his own “Don’t do that Klaus, come on, can you look at me?” He urges, if he can just get him out of whatever shithole Klaus is in, they’ll already be ten times better off than before.

“Klaus, just look at me okay?” Five says, his tone firm.

Klaus shudders, takes another halting breath, and his head turns up.

Five thinks he looks like shit.

Any leftover eye liner is smudged to hell, his eyes themselves are red and puffy, and it even looks like some small blood vessels burst from crying so hard.

But him looking at Five is a step in the right direction.

“Can you hear me? Are you listening?” Five asks, still holding onto Klaus’s hands.

Klaus is still breathing a little too quickly for Five’s liking, but he gives a small nod.

“That’s good,” Five replies, giving a small nod, “Now, you’re in the academy’s kitchen, it’s 2019, it’s 5 in the morning, it’s storming outside but you’re safe.” Five gently rests his hands on each side of Klaus’ head. “Do you understand? You’re safe.”

Klaus visibly regains a little control and nods, sniffling.

Five is almost proud of himself. “Great, can you stand?” He asks, again holding Klaus’ hands in his, hoping it’s grounding him.

Klaus pauses for a minute to finally getting his breathing in check, and croaks, “Yeah.”

Five notices the discarded military vest next to Klaus on the floor, and hands it to him. Klaus’ eyes water, but no more tears fall as he holds the vest against his chest with the hand that isn’t holding Fives’.

Five is the first out from under the table, but still gripping one of his hands. Slow and looking a little delicate, Klaus gets out from under the table and plops himself into a chair, letting out a deep sigh. He opens his eyes and sees Five standing next to him, a calm face, but Klaus can see the concern in his gaze. On his other side there’s Ben sitting down, expression a little crumpled, but he sends him a relieved little smile. Klaus gives a little amused huff at that.

“Do you want some coffee? I came down for it, anyway.” Klaus realizes Five is still holding one of his hands.

Klaus takes breath through his nose and shakes his head.

Five frowns, “Well, what about hot chocolate or something? You need something in your stomach.”

Klaus thinks for a moment and nods. He’ll take some hot chocolate.

Five replies with a curt nod and lets go of Klaus’ hand with a small pat.

While Five walks to the cupboards, Klaus takes a few more slow breaths and rests his elbows onto the table, pressing his palms to his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He hears Ben ask, cautiously.

“No, not really, but it’s fine.” Klaus replies. Five sends him a glance, but he figured Klaus was talking to Ben, anyway.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help, I tried talking to you but you couldn’t hear me.” Klaus’ heart hurts when he peeks through his fingers to see Ben looking at him with a face full of regret and sadness.

“Hey, hey, it’s not your fault, you’re good.” He rests his forehead on his crossed arms, he’s so exhausted, but his headache isn’t as bad from when he first woke up at least.

“Yeah but–“

“No, no, you’re good, calm down hun.” Klaus pats Bens non-corporeal hand, hitting the table. It makes Ben chuckle, so job well done in Klaus’s book.

God, he’s so tired. Maybe just little lie down on this nice comfortable table could do him some good.

“Don’t fall asleep. I want you to eat something first.” He hears Five call.

Klaus tries his best to make his sigh loud and obnoxious.

“Shut up, you’ll thank me later.” And there's the Five he knows.

“Since when do you actually know how to cook?” Klaus mumbles, but Five hears him anyway.

He feels Five’s glare. “I can figure something out.”

Klaus just smiles as he lays his chin on his arms, leaning over the table with his chair pushed out. He could never sit still could he?

“If I could just find this fucking hot chocolate tin…” Five grumbles.

“Upper left cupboard, Five.”

And Klaus feels like he’s almost become a ghost himself, looking over to Diego in the entryway, eyes wide, surprised by the sudden appearance.

Diego’s got a shit-eating smirk when Five grumbles more, if that was even possible, but as soon as his eyes landed on Klaus his brow furrows.

God, he must look like such shit if he can turn an expression that quick.

Diego walks towards him, posture tense, face concerned, and places his hand on the back of Klaus’s chair.

“You okay, bro?”

Klaus looks up at him, eyes wide. “Just peachy!” He replies holding a thumbs up.

“Really man? Cause you look like shit.”

“Yes well, I find that waking up this early in the morning can do that,” Klaus dramatically places his hand on his chest. “I’m just not meant for these early hours, my disposition can’t take it.”

Before Diego can say anything, Five speaks up while he heats up some milk in a saucepan. “Something triggered him and he had a panic attack.”

“Are you serious?”

“Fiiive,” Klaus whines, “How could you betray your brother like this.”

“Serves you right” Ben interjects “You need to start telling people things.”

Klaus scrunches his nose in response.

“Jesus Klaus, you weren’t gonna say anything?” Diego sets himself down onto the chair to Klaus’s right.

“It’s fine though, look. ”He gestures down to himself. “All in one piece. What does it matter? Sometimes you see a car crash and you just keep walking.”

Diego looks incredulous. “What? No, you’re not making any sense. You gotta tell us about this shit or we can’t help you.”

Klaus tightens his arms, feeling his vest press up against his face from where its laying on his shoulder, “Mhm, gotcha, don’t even worry, I’ll tell ya next time.”

Diego stares at him a for a second or two, he doesn't look like he believes him, which is fine, he doesn't really need to rely on these guys entirely. You just have to figure shit out on your own sometimes.

“You’re so frustrating sometimes, you know that?” Ben is leaning back in the chair to Klaus’ left, twiddling his thumbs. Klaus levels him with a dramatic pout, to which Ben looks unimpressed.

Diego looks over to the empty chair. “Is uh–is Ben here?” Diego asks.

“Yup.” Klaus replies with a pop sound on the p.

Diego gives a short wave. “Hi, Ben.” He says, awkwardly.

Ben smiles and waves, “Ben says hi back.” Klaus tells Diego, rolling his head back to just catch a small nap.

He can feel Diego's stare, but their little chat is interrupted by Five taking out the eggs.

The chair scrapes the floor as Diego rushes to the stove. “Oh no you don’t. If anyone in this room is handling cooking, it’s gonna be me.”

“What, you know how to cook?” Klaus smiles to himself at Fives mocking tone.

“Yeah, since when do you? Just give me the eggs. I’ll actually make something edible.”

“I can make something edible!”

“Oh, is that so? Well, the milk your heating up is looking like expired yogurt so I beg to differ.”

The last sound Klaus pays attention to is Five’s seething, Diego's sharp laugh, and the rain lightly hitting the glass windows of the kitchen.

Yeah, he’s gonna be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments or kudos if you’re wiling! I may never write but I’d still really appreciate it! 
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Title from Fade Away by Susanne Sundfør btw


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